Tuesday, November 29, 2005

"Theories and goals of education don't matter a whit if you don't consider your students to be human beings."

By reenee, Santa Maria.

Ah yes, in yet another example of how to remain firmly cemented in denial, here comes a story out of Oak Ridge, Tennessee, about a high school newspaper that was confiscated by school administrators due to the content. The student newspaper, The Oak Leaf, dared to include an article on birth control, along with information on how to obtain contraceptives from doctors and the local health department. Additionally, it had a photo of an unidentified student's tattoo. The student had not told her parents about the tattoo, which begs the question, "How did she get a tattoo?" Aren't most reputable tattoo artists required to demand parental permission for anyone under 18? Of course they are. More on this later.

All of this takes us to the brutal reality that, "some kids will find a way to do what they want, despite parental objections."

Superintendent Tom Bailey in defending his actions said, "The article needed to be edited so it would be acceptable for the entire school." He went on to say, "We have a responsibility to the public to do the right thing, We've got 14-year-olds that read the newspaper."

Call me crazy, but wouldn't it be better to have a 14 year old educated on how to prevent pregnancy? What would be worse here, a 14 year old finding out about how to obtain contraceptives, or a 14 year old getting pregnant? Gee, let me mull this one over.

Is it possible that there are people still living in a world where they think that if as adults, they don't talk outloud about certain things, then the kids won't find out about them and do them? Well, yes, yes there are. This mythical land is called "Denial."

Denial is after all, a refusal to accept or believe something. It's an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by the refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings, and as a result, we want to avoid the pain. It's a very powerful force. Who wants to be hurt, angry, or disappointed? Everyone does it at some point in there lives, it can be very comfortable. However, the trick is to not set up housekeeping in the "Land of Denial." If you have to go there, trust me on this one, never unpack your bags, just visit.

It's obvious that this particular lesson in censorship was the result of Superintendent Bailey reacting to his own kind of peer pressure. The kind of pressure that comes from people that are scared of parental reactions. In my humble opinion, the nation's school's might turn out thousands of more well rounded students if instead of dissecting frogs, and looking for the meaning of poems, they concentrated on life's skills, things like reading comprehension, writing skills, managing/budgeting money, sex education, choices in birth control, and how to prevent the rampant spread of sexually transmitted diseases. All students who are not allowed to attend the birth control and sex education classes could be enrolled in parenting skills classes.

You think I'm crazy? Check out this graph. Whatever it is that we're doing right now to educate our teens is clearly not working. Apparently, neither is ignoring their raging hormones.
Parents thinking that their teenagers are going to do what they say all of the time, are of course, living in denial. When some children find that their parents remain closed off from certain subjects that they're curious about, then they will go to their peers, they always have and always will. Some parents fear the term "peer pressure," without acknowledging that it can be positive at times. Not all children will abandon their value system when hanging around with their friends. Strong, accessible parents will never be completely abandoned by their children. At the same time, parents must realize that no matter how great their relationships are, some children will look to their peers for certain acceptance and or answers. Sadly, for some parents it's easier to lay the blame on television, the movies, music, friends they disapprove of, and even at times, each other, when they don't find the time for them. Perhaps more parents should get involved and keep in mind what Coretha Henderson did when her 14 year old began to misbehave. This woman was both villified and praised. What ever opinion you might have about this woman, what is undeniable, is that she did something.

Regarding the aforementioned tattoo, Superintendent Tom Bailey said, "I have a problem with the idea of putting something in the paper that makes us a part of hiding something from the parents."

Well, I'm sorry, but this makes no sense to me whatsoever. As I mentioned before, the student paper had included picture of a tattoo on an unidentified student. If the student allowed it to be photographed, chances are someone already knows, and the student will have to ready herself for the inevitable moment when her parents find out. Considering this country's preoccupation for minding other people's business instead of their own, odds are that the parents already know.

There are so very many more important things in life to focus on rather than a tattoo or parents boohooing. There are so many other things that could be getting the school boards, parents and administrators to sit up and take notice. Confiscating a student newspaper seems so obtuse. Let's face it, kids are having sex. That's a fact. It matters little whether we approve or disapprove. That's not the point. Dealing with it would be better than ignoring it and hoping that it goes away. Not talking about it will not make it go away. Kids that are aware, are already using birth control. The ones that could profit from this information will not. Getting on our high horses and telling teens to "just say no" is not going to work with all of them, so all we need to stop thinking that it will. Isn't it better to give a teenager the facts about prevention before they're pregnant?

Here are some sobering facts regarding pregnancy:
  • Despite recent and encouraging declines, the United States still has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and birth among comparable nations.
  • Nearly four out of 10 girls still become pregnant at least once before they reach age 20. Nearly 1 million teen pregnancies occur annually, some 55 each hour.
  • Four-fifths of teen births are to unmarried teens. In fact, nearly half of all non-marital first births occur to teens.

Why should this matter to us?

  • Teen pregnancy is closely linked to a host of critical social issues-welfare dependency and overall child well-being, out-of-wedlock births, responsible fatherhood, and work force development, in particular.
  • Teen mothers are less likely to complete high school and more likely to be on welfare.
  • Children of teen mothers are at a significantly increased risk of poverty, welfare dependency, poor school performance, growing up without a father, low birth weight and prematurity, and abuse and neglect.

The only real lesson that the administrators gave to the students was, "We're in control, you have no voice."

Monday, November 21, 2005

What Can We Do To Protect Our Children?

By reenee, Santa Maria

Well, it hapened again. Three more teens are dead because the driver lost control of the speeding car they were in. It's only been a week since I wrote about the last horrific waste of lives. Just last December three boys died on Rice Ranch Road. The fourth boy miraculously escaped with minor injuries and a concussion.Then barely three weeks ago, on October 31st, two boys in Lompoc died in an accident that left the third boy in the car with major injuries that have required continued hospitalization. That's eight local teenagers in less than a year. The driver of this latest accident, is 18, and has been arrested for manslaughter and "hit and run" because immediately following the accident he got out of the car and ran away into a nearby field, trying to get away. Obviously he panicked. Panic is usually the first response of quite a few eighteen year olds, so this alone certainly should not condemn him. What the authorities do to him will be minor when compared to what his own psyche will do to him. He had four passengers, two girls and two boys. Three of those passengers died outright, and one of the girls is in critical condition. There's no word yet if he was driving under the influence.

This accident occurred at 8:30 in the morning, but that certainly does not eliminate the possibility of being impaired. It could have been that he was just simply going too fast for the conditions of the road. Isn't that one of the main driving rules? Could it have anything to do with the fact that the car was full of teenagers? Was he showing off? Was it a new car? Had he done this a hundred times before with no ill effects? Considering that three kids are now dead, does it really matter? Motor vehicle accidents remain the leading cause of death in youths from 16 to 20 years of age. What can be done? Stricter laws for teens? More hours of instruction? More emphasis on safety? Graphic films of accidents involving teen drivers? Will that make a difference? How many of us believe that any of the kids in that car on Saturday were thinking of the boys that died Halloween night, or last December? As I had mentioned when I last wrote, there are a few states that already have established laws to deal with teen drivers. However, since the laws are aimed at teens between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, the boy that was driving this past Saturday would not have been affected by those laws.

This is a small town. As a result tragedies like this always affect a lot of people. Therefore we will see another big story in the local newspaper. Our imported local columnist/romance novelist/color commentator will devote a column or two no doubt. We might even see the local city councils get involved with at least some commentary, if not a plaque, or proclamation of some sort. There's even a possibility that the Board of Supervisors will weigh in with their opinions. The television and newspaper reporters will probably interview the Chief of Police, along with some spokesman from the Motor Vehicles Department, perhaps even some teachers, all who will no doubt have have something important to say. Nearly everyone who's anybody or anyone who thinks they are, will have something to say. Like me, for example.

The problem with all of this is that no matter how well intentioned it is, it will not be enough. Words are simply words. Actions are needed. Something really big has to happen. Something significant that will have an impact on these young drivers. Something that will grab their attention and make them sit up and take note. Something really ugly. What happened Saturday is very ugly, but will it affect other young drivers? Will delaying their driving privileges be the answer? The nationwide movement to make Graduated Driver Licensing a law in every state is another possible solution. Is not getting their driver's license until they show a certain level of maturity the answer? While I understand that this might be difficult to measure, given the number of adults that have not yet become full fledged grownups, it is at least a thought worth entertaining.

Anyone who has ever spent time with teenagers knows that they go through a period of time when they cannot be told anything. They know it all. They're smarter than anyone else. They know what they're doing. Add to this, busy parents trying to make ends meet. Consequently, a lot of the teens that need to get the message, will not see it, nor will they hear it, at least not in the sense that it will have a lasting impact. Once the shock of a friend's death wears off, they will re-inhabit their bubble. They are after all, invincible. Weren't we all? Between the ages 14 to 16 they are trying to establish their independence while still very aware of their dependence. At times their attitudes suck and they seem impervious to any signs of parental control. They've not gone crazy, they're just teenagers being insufferable, which, if memory serves, is normal behavior for this age group. Reading James Windell's explanation should remind us all of how and why we were like this. The average teen will not realize that they didn't know it all until they get older, if they survive their driving. In order to get through to them, a message has to be dressed up in whatever appeals to them and the group they hang out with. High school kids are already dealing with so many pressures from every direction, that they will not respond to pussy footing around a subject. Something needs to grab their attention in a very big way. Teens live for driving privileges, so once again, will threatening this "rite of passage" be the answer?

Parents, teachers, school administrators, police, health care workers, and anyone else who wants to address this continuing problem in a positive manner, need significant input from the teenagers they are trying to reach. All of them. I don't mean just the National Honor Society students, or the "Stepford Children," I mean all of the students. Some adults need to get in touch with how they used to be at this age, and understand that these kids are not "Children of the Damned" or, "Children of the Corn". All kids can bring something positive to the discussion. Today's teens are very smart and much more sophisticated that we were. We might not like the attitudes they display, we might not like the language that they choose to express their opinions in, we might even detest how they dress, but all of these things are not at all significant in the scheme of things. We need to keep in mind what the real issue is: trying to keep kids educated enough so that they will remain safe behind the wheel, and alive long enough to finish growing up.

So how about beginning driver's education much earlier? It just might be that waiting for the high school years is already too late to begin the brainwashing. The sooner this education begins the better. Perhaps with more awareness, these children can grow into adulthood. This latest accident has robbed one local family of two sons. They join the sad circle of other families that have been equally devasted by this life altering tragedy. Eight dead teenagers in less than a year in our small area is totally unacceptable in a civilized society.


Sunday, November 13, 2005

"It Is The Mark Of An Educated Mind To Entertain A Thought Without Accepting It."

By Reenee, Santa Maria

Well, I must say, the break I took was well worth it. For creativity to flow unfettered when you need it, you must go some place...any place, to clear out all of the unnecessary stuff that clogs your already overworked and occasionally misfiring synapses. While trying to get in touch with my alpha waves I discovered that I have none; however, in my quest, I ran across an excellent book, that everyone should read. The title of the book says it all, but I do recommend reading it anyway. Living Successfully With Screwed Up People, by Elizabeth Brown. It won't change your life, nor will it solve all of your problems, but you might get a better insight into why people do what they do. More importantly, you might at least begin to understand why you do what you do. Give it a whirl, or not.

What compelled me to take my much needed break were two stories recently in the local news. One was my irritation at the coverage that the newspapers were giving to Santa Maria Judge, Diana Hall. Yes, she's a judge, and yes, some of us will hold her to a higher standard than perhaps we would a drug pusher, but we must also keep in mind that people make mistakes.

Some mistakes are bigger than others. Some people only make the headlines because of their position in the community. Each and every time that her current woes are reported on, there has to be a mention of the fact that it all began with a domestic disturbance. Actually, were it anyone else, the story would move on.

However, since it involved her "former live-in partner Deidra Dykeman" this must be mentioned as well. Is this as important as the subsequent events? Or is it there for titillation? I'll answer that, it's the latter. We're never given a chance to forget something about her personal life that really and truly is none of our business! What is it with the preoccupation of her lifestyle? How in the world is that going to affect anyone's life? I suggest moving on.

In any case, the formal proceeding Diana Hall faces is rare. According to today's story, the Commission on Judicial Performance received complaints on about 848 of the state's 1,610 judges in 2004. Interestingly enough, Diana Hall's case is the first to result in a hearing this year. Imagine that. Others that have followed this story have taken a decidedly different view, and implied that Judge Hall cannot get a fair trial in Santa Maria. That might be true, and considering the Michael Jackson fiasco, anything is possible. Hmm, perhaps if someone wanted to write a book...now there's a thought.

The other story was the heartbreaking waste of two young lives in Lompoc, in a horrific accident on October 31st. High school boys. One was 16, the other was 17, and the third, also aged 17 is still in very serious condition.

Only last December, Santa Maria lost three teenaged boys. In that accident, the dead were two 17 year olds and one 14 year old. A fourth, aged 16, survived. Why does this happen so often? Could it be that most teenagers believe that they're invincible? I know that they think they're smarter than everyone else, this is what makes them so insufferable for a while, at least I know I was. But indestructible?

Does this temporary "superiority complex" extend to their belief that nothing can ever happen to them? I never once thought this, but then I had a mother that had convinced me that she'd simply "take me out" if I got too big for my britches. I'd like to think that these deaths will in some way have a impact on how all other young drivers behave when behind the wheel of a car. Perhaps in the days that immediately follow a such tragedy of this magnitude, these kids do think about how short life can be. However, after the shock wears off, they'll be back to the "it won't happen to me, I'm too smart" mode.

You don't believe me? Drive around town before and after school hours. Or better yet, pay attention to who's driving beside you during the summer or weekends. I've been noticing that these young drivers also, many more times than I can count, seem to have a cell phone stuck in their ear. Will banning hand held cell phones help? Well, no, it won't. Wearing a headset won't eliminate the distraction, all it will do is get them to maybe put both hands on the steering wheel.

How about the ever present "need for speed"? There are several streets in Santa Maria that double as "speedways." It has been noted that "teenagers' perceptions of their own skills and those of the drivers around them contribute to their risky behavior. Drivers who believe they are highly skilled are less likely to properly evaluate a risky situation. Young drivers in particular are much more likely to overestimate their skills."

Whatever the cause of these accidents is, it's clear that something must be done. At present, 27 states have restrictions on teen drivers. Some would be viewed as harsher than others, by both parents and teens.

For example, in New Jersey, drivers under 18 years old can have no more than one passenger; teen passengers are not allowed in a car operated by a teen driver, and the curfew for teen drivers is midnight.

California has passed laws that will go into effect January 1, 2006 that many teens and parents will be grumbling about. Before they groan, grumble and write letters to the editors, they might want to go spend the day with the parents that lost their teenagers. This should prove more educational than anything else.