Getting Healthy

Just the other day, my sister wrote about how old ladies have to exercise for one hour a day to maintain their weight and, disgustingly, longer if they want to lose the poundage.

Check out the graph to the left if you doubt me. Hispanics of every variety and Mexican-Americans in particular must mind what we eat if we prefer to walk instead of roll.

With that in mind, I have some tips. There has been considerable angst within the medical and health expert communities during the past ten years. The main reason for this is that eight out of ten adults are overweight and some 40 million people are considered obese. One of the reasons for this is that as a rule, we eat junk. According to the experts the foods contain tightly-packed calories in smaller packages and we sit on our asses. Therefore, as a Public Service Announcement I bring you these exercises from Dr. Mao.

The number one cause of being overweight is inactivity. The human body is designed for physical activity. Our ancestors were hunter-gatherers who spent most of their lives on the move; their metabolic functions matched their physical lifestyle. Nowadays, we live in opposition to our nature. The reason most diets fail is because our bodies are not designed to subsist on meager foods. We are designed to consume a good amount of energy -- and then to burn that energy. Physical activity is the key to a healthy metabolism.

Physical activity does not necessarily mean abrupt, fast-paced and forceful exercise. Taken from a tradition that is thousands of years old, here are three qigong exercises that target your weight and get you in shape.

Exercise 1: Swimming Dragon speeds up your metabolism

This simple qigong exercise can help speed up your metabolism and reduce your appetite. Not unlike a belly dance, Swimming Dragon is a wriggling rhythmic dance of the torso, which burns energy and promotes fat burning in the abdomen.

1. In a comfortable, quiet place stand with your feet together and ankles touching, or as close together as you can get them. Bring hands over your head, with palms together and fingers pointing up. Keep your palms together during this entire exercise.

2. Inhaling, push your waist out to the right side while keeping your head and upper torso straight. Simultaneously move your right elbow to the right, so that it rests at shoulder height.

3. Exhaling, push your waist out to the left side while keeping your head and upper torso straight. Simultaneously move your left elbow fully to the left at shoulder height.

4. Repeat this movement several times. Every time you move your waist to the right, bend your knees slightly more, lowering your entire body as you squat. Be sure to keep your upper torso and head straight.

5. With each right movement, move your hands lower, keeping your palms together and fingers pointing up. When your arms reach your chest, turn your fingers toward the ground and continue the movement.

6. When your arms reach your knees, you should be squatting.

7. Continue the movements, now rising with each right movement until you reach the standing position. When your arms reach your chest, switch the direction of your fingers so that they’re pointing up again.

Throughout this exercise, your hands should produce an S-shaped movement and your body should do a rhythmic belly dance. Remember to inhale on the rightward movement and exhale to the left. Only do this exercise on an empty stomach. Begin slowly and increase speed, warming up the whole body, but not to the point of perspiration.
A word of caution here, be standing next to a chair when you squat, you'll need it to pull yourself back up, or so I've heard.

Exercise 2: Arm Swing

Energy exercises like tai chi and Eight Treasures Qigong have been found to improve cardiovascular health. Here is the Arm Swing, a warm-up movement to tai chi that will invigorate your daily workout.

1. Start with your feet should-width apart. Freely swing your arms from front to back until you reach a point of natural resistance. Now let your arms swing to the front again.

2. After a couple of minutes of arm swinging, increase the work out by bending your knees and lifting your heels as your arms swing back and forth.

3. Increase your work out further by jumping off the ground as your arms swing back as though the momentum of your arms carries your body upward. Jump progressively higher each time. Swing your arms for 15 minutes. Gradually slow down and stop. Perform this exercise twice each day.

Exercise 3: Merry-Go-Around

With a daily practice of Qi Gong exercises like the Eight Treasures you can strengthen your hormonal system, help balance your blood sugar levels, and maintain your proper weight. Below I describe a simple walking exercise called “Merry-Go-Around.”

1. In a quiet outdoor setting find a thick-trunked tree, 10 - 12” diameter with at least 5 feet of clear space around the trunk in all directions. Perform the following walking exercise for 15 minutes.

2. Walk with a relaxed but steady gait, with hands raised to your trunk. With each completed circle change the position of your arms by slightly raising or lowering your hands in front or on the sides of your trunk.

3. For the first half of the exercise walk clockwise around the tree. For the second half, walk counterclockwise. Do the Merry-Go-Around twice each day.

How often should you exercise?

4 or more times per week, for 30 minutes each time is best, less until you get used to it to prevent heart attacks. It might even be better to take a brisk walk around a block or two to begin with. If your daily routine consists of fatty foods followed by inertia, you might want to start slowly.

Hoopleheads on the loose

I came home from work the other day and found this dubious artwork on my fence. I cannot even begin to describe my anger at the audacity of people destroying or defacing other people's property. I was so angry, I would have machine gunned them had I seen them. I paid a lot of money to have that fence built. It completely encircles the property and looks fabulous, so to see it marked in this manner raised my blood pressure to levels that it rarely gets to.

Luckily, I cooled down, and the top of my head didn't blow off.

I had to remind myself that just because it would never occur to me to destroy or deface other people's possessions or property, others might not feel the same way. The world is full of people who are not cursed with self-awareness or the concept of Karma.

Those that fall into this category are often gangbangers who get thrills from this type of ignorant behavior. They somehow think it's cool to tag buildings, fences, signs, etc to "mark their territory." Dogs do this, so what does that make these people?

I often wonder where the parents are whenever I read about tagging with gang signs or other unsavory activities. What I also need to consider is that sometimes the parents are ranking members in this all too idiotic career choice.

Apparently when they're moved past the tagging or graffiti phase, they're shooting at cops as they lead them on a wild goose chase through the city.

Just this week, one of those chases with a pendeja at the wheel, ended with three knuckleheads under arrest. The pendeja was Barbara Trevino. 49 years old and still behaving stupidly.

Officers attempted to stop her vehicle at about 4 pm, but instead of pulling over and shutting up, she led them on a wild chase through residential areas for close to five miles.

Her passengers were Joseph Deleon, a 33-year-old wanted parolee and Albert Valdez, age 30. At one point during the chase, Deleon leaned out of the passenger window and shot at the cops at least three times. At one point Valdez tossed the gun out of the car. Police recovered the gun, a 9-mm semi-automatic pistol.

Trevino stopped the SUV briefly allowing Deleon to run away, but he was captured and arrested after a brief foot chase. He was emptying his pockets as he ran but the cops recovered his meth at the scene.

The vehicle pursuit continued for a few more blocks, when Trevino stopped she was promptly arrested. She also had some meth in her purse. Valdez also tried to run away, but was captured almost immediately.

According to the cops, all three hoopleheads are local gang members. All were booked for a variety of charges, including six counts of attempted murder on peace officers, transporting meth, resisting arrest, violating parole and being felons in possession of a gun along with six gang-enhancement charges. Additionally, Trevino was arrested on suspicion of felony evasion.

They're in deep doodoo and might end up in prison for a long time considering the six counts of attempted murder charges.

Back to my fence. I called the police who came over to take my report. The officer gave me a phone number to call about removing the paint. I called the following morning, and by noon that day my fence was back to normal. Apparently the city employs a team of graffiti removers that are kept busy full time by these vandals.

Apparently some are simply entitled

There's a team of scientists over at Yale University led by evolutionary biologist Stephen Stearns who have suggested that humans are still evolving. I will have to agree. We as a species have clearly not evolved enough. If we had, would there be so much strife? So many murders over picayune reasons? Irrational behavior by people -who by all accounts- should know better?

Bizarre behavior is a given in this society, but when that behavior is a by a former judge who is having a tantrum because he thinks that laws, rules and regulations don't apply to him, then it's clear the knucklehead feature in our species has not been, what's the word... "Deselected"?

Let's face it, society expects a certain modicum of poise, or at the very least, moderately acceptable behavior from a former judge.

However, it appears that this former judge, James Slater, has once again disappointed the casual observer. This man was on the bench for 20 years. 20 years! This man heard both criminal and civil proceedings. Dare I ask what his behavior was during those proceedings? I wonder, since the behavior he exhibited this past Monday was beyond bizarre, it was petty. Perhaps he's entitled? Perhaps he feels that as a former judge he doesn't have to abide by the rules that the rest of us peasants live by?

As a result of his recent antics, he was cited for reckless driving. It seems that Slater doesn't believe that he has to wait, so he didn't. He came close to hitting several adults and children when he drove onto a curb after a concert was being let out at the Santa Barbara Bowl.

The Yamato Wadaiko Drummers of Japan performed for an estimated 5,500 elementary school students at the Bowl that morning. The concert was over and people were exiting the bowl when Slater came driving by at 10:25 that morning.

According to SBPD Lt. Paul McCaffrey, Slater drove on the curb at Milpas Street and Garcia Streets to avoid a barricade preventing him from turning right onto Milpas from Garcia, where he lives. Security officers—one of whom was brushed by the side view mirror of Slater’s Toyota Prius—witnessed Slater maneuver around the barricade at Garcia and Milpas, as well as almost hit someone pushing a stroller.

He proceeded past another barricade, driving into the County Bowl, where an officer had to get out of the way.

McCaffrey said, “He was not going fast but he was not stopping.” Slater parked the car to rest on the lawn of the County Bowl, got out and was angry, demanding to speak with the head of the County Bowl. Instead, he was ticketed for reckless driving.

This isn't the first time Slater has behaved as though he's above the law. Some years ago, while still sitting on the Santa Barbara Superior Court bench, he admitted to deflating the tires of a vehicle with a handicapped card that he found parked in his courthouse parking space.

Word is that this guy now works as a mediator and arbitrator. I hope that his duties are confined to a video game, or in a laboratory working with rats, since clearly, his lack of judgement is not what should be found in someone mediating real life situations where clear thinking, fairness and intelligent decisions are required.

Presidential Speech Meets the Freak Show

I for one, am thoroughly disgusted over the temper tantrums from the right over the fact that President Barack Obama intends to talk to school children about the importance of staying in school and studying hard to achieve their goals. Is the right so addled that they have forgotten that in 1988, then-President Reagan spoke to students nationwide via C-SPAN telecast? Among other things, he talked about his positions on political issues of the day.

Have they forgotten that three years later, then-President Bush addressed school kids in a speech broadcast live to school classrooms nationwide? Among other things, he promoted his own administration’s education policies.

Now, President Obama comes along and wants to deliver a message to students next week emphasizing hard work, encouraging young people to do their best in school. The reaction from the right only helps reinforce how far gone 21st-century conservatives really are.

The administration has offered to make the text of the address available in advance, just so everyone can see how innocuous it is. It's made no difference. Conservatives don't want school kids to hear a message from their president. Those who claim superiority on American patriotism have decided to throw yet another tantrum over the idea that the president of the United States might encourage young people to do well in schools.

Fox News personalities have adopted the same line, calling a stay-in-school message from the president "cultist" and reminiscent of "North Korea and the former Soviet Union."

Whether some people like it or not, President Obama is the leader of this entire nation. It doesn't matter if you voted for him or even if your head threatens to explode every time you think about him. Trust me, my head was in danger of exploding every single day from November of 2000 until January 20, 2009.

This man is the president, and, as such, it's a big deal that he's speaking directly to students about the importance of education. The idea that any child should be kept home from class just so their parents can make an empty political statement about an apolitical speech is ridiculous. Is the idea that we should shelter children from any contact with or knowledge of any president we personally dislike? Should we pretend that the president doesn't exist, just because our favored party is not currently in power? Yeah, that's really healthy and intelligent.

How can a speech about studying hard and staying in school be political? If this bothers everyone so much, perhaps putting the little darlings in front of Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly afterwards will ease their anxieties.

As luck would have it, some cooler heads prevailed.

Idaho school superintendent, Murray Dalgleish of Council, urged people not to rush to judgment. He said, "Is the president dictating to these kids? I don't think so. He's trying to get out the same message we're trying to get out, which is, `You are in charge of your education.'"

So which is it? Do we want students to get the message that staying in school is important, or would we as parents be happy to hear them say things like, "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"
You decide.

*Image courtesy of John Cole, Scranton, PA, The Times

Incompetence At The State Level. Again.

Here's Arnie trying hard to not burst a blood vessel. He has threatened to veto the state budget because he said the long overdue spending plan that lawmakers have approved lacked long-term fiscal reforms and would burden taxpayers.

He said, "I think nothing is more important than getting our fiscal house in order, and I promise the people of California that I will not stop until the job is done."
However, our illustrious and irresponsible lawmakers are saying that they're not going to back down. They're prepared to override the veto. The bill is going to land on Arnie's desk tomorrow morning, and because he's channeling Conan the Barbarian, the only response he was able to come up with for this sticky situation was to proclaim that his plan was: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women." Nevermind that billions of dollars in payments to schools, medical clinics, daycare centers, adult and otherwise, as well as payments to state vendors continue to be in limbo. What's wrong with this picture?

Senate Minority Leader Dave Cogdill said said that no one has the stomach to keep going down this path. He says, "It is a mistake, and I will vote to override the governor's veto, as should every other legislator who approved this budget."

It has been 78 days since the start of the fiscal year. They finally passed a $143 billion budget shortly after 2 a.m. this morning. As you can see by Abel Maldonado, he's truly riveted and interested in the process. One of these days I'll figure out why he's there.

Meanwhile, Arnie said that the reforms that our duly elected lawmakers added to the budget were flawed and would do nothing to halt the state's persistent imbalance between spending and the amount of money it takes in. What is the deal with these people? Why can't they do anything right by the people that voted them in?

As it stands now, the budget's main feature requires that the screws be applied to their constituents. How? Well, we get to pay our income taxes sooner. This is their brilliant idea to help close a $15.2 billion deficit without borrowing or imposing new taxes. Here's another idea? How about if these knuckleheads go without their pay for a while? Might that light a fire under them? If nothing else it might wake them up.

Even lawmakers who voted for the plan agreed that it merely delayed the toughest fiscal decisions until next year.

If they cannot get it together to pass a decent budget that makes sense now, what's going to change by next year? Do you suppose that they think they'll be smarter in another year?

Saying that the current budget would require a major tax increase or massive cuts to education Arnie said, "If lawmakers think that's what the people of California deserve, then I don't know what their thinking is of the people of California. I think the people of California deserve better."

Yeah, as a matter of fact we do. However, enough knuckleheads voted for you Arnie, so in essence, at least THEY are getting exactly what they deserve. The rest of us however are feeling the pinch in a variety of ways.

Arnie went further with his threats. He said that if lawmakers override his budget veto, he'll not be kind to their legislation, potentially wiping away a year's worth of work. He said, "Hundreds of bills will be vetoed."

Yeah, that's just all kinds of helpful.